TOMBURGER V'S DINOJESUS

ShaWowza what's not to love here ? Tom Selleck everyones fav moustache kicking back in his denim shorts with a cup of decaf in a lagoon with a waterfall and a mystic floating big mac hovering like a rampant little UFO in the background. Seriously who comes up with this stuff? 

It's almost as good as the time i found the Tyrannasaurus Rex being chaperoned by a massive floating Jesus rising up through  the cumulus clouds like the Space rocket swaddled in a white cotton christening robes. 

 Although I have a feeling that this may have been some evangelical imagery about god creating all and evoloution having never happened in the first place, for example..... jesus can make big things too, not just little animals and other humans in his form but he can also create from dust and rain and the heat of the sun and fertile earth, great big enormous thick skinned tusked things, like elephants, big multi-storey toothed things like Dinosaurs, great horned ferocious things like rhinocerous, and swimming slippy things like whales and giant squid..etc....



there are really great references to this in CS Lewis's 'The Last Battle' when the earth starts bubbling like a saucepan of porridge and burps forth all kinds of delightful herbivores, carnivores, reptiles, amphibians......from the bulbous compost blisters. Aslan is god and he creates everything and the new world is dark and silent before he puts his heavy padded paws upon it and sends wave of new life through it like lightening which starts it bubbling and spewing forth animals of all shapes and sizes and everything is born for the first time. All Life starts here.

TAN LINES

I guess with all the blisteringly hot weather here in london recently i'm getting all summery inside, all misty eyed, dreamin' of pimms and pina coladas, hot brown skinned boys with far away salty eyes, strawberries and cream, sandy sandwiches, the ocean lapping around my belly like a litter of wet kittens, the sun in my eyes, girls in bikinis with tan lines, tan lines are hot.....when we were kids my brothers and sister and I would keep our watches on for the whole holiday so when we got back home we had proof of how tanned we had become and who had won by being the brownest.

I believe this may have been an early foray into my competitive self.....i really gave a shit about winning. The satisfaction i gleaned from watching the white patch get brighter and brighter day by day was unrivalled, it was like secretly polishing the ultimate tan trophy that was going to be mine at the end of the trip. The luminous graphic strip felt like a tiny but very significant success story right there on my little 11 year old wrist,  just like Tom Cruise in Cocktail or Matthew Broderick in Ferris Buellers day off.

MAD

Britney, Nicole, Paris and Lilo, what a guest list. Wowza

Batman and his super gay little sidekick Robina.

Joker

My particular all time fav lil Wayne. Leg end. I did a whole blog post about him and my conclusion was this.....

'It's just the cacophony of shit thats going on here, the lip piercing, the tats, the plaster, the jewellery, the dreadlocks, the diamond teef, the raybans, the smoking, the smoking and drinking at the same time. He's like a bull in a china shop in his own body. It kinda blows my mind'.


I am seriously into lil Wayne.

Bush as Mr.Potato head/mad

Obama looking fit as a ginger. Love those freckles like i love train tracks.

Mad is so good, smart and funny and a bit wrong but mostly very very right about important things, tongue in cheek when necessary, blatent when required, exposing in all the right places like a flasher with buckets of integrity. 

HEY SUMMER HEY NATASHA POLY

April 2010 Mario Sorrenti for Paris Vogue and a prediction of what my summer is going to be like.....bit of a tan, bit of baby oil, sea, sand, seaweed, a balcony, some socks, trainers, a small bikini, a life ring and a horse of course.